It was quite somber when I finally realized I was at the end of this cycle. I no longer felt the same. Even in the midst of being faced with the past my heart no longer moved for you.
I began to see the beauty in my true nature. Judged every time it shined through. Misunderstood whilst understanding everyone within reach. This somber reality is that I had finally come to terms with: You are the one who is irreplaceable. You would never know a love as pure as mine. I’ve released the thought because my heart no longer sings for you. My heart no longer beats for you. Now you sulk in your own will to replace the one who is Irreplaceable .
I find ease in the ways of my intellect. Suckling the nectar of knowledge, indulging in silence. It helped to ease discomfort in transgressions with life.Putting together a masterpiece in understanding what needs to be done and how it will be done.
Expressions of fear seeped through all I wanted. I just needed to feel grounded, because I noticed of sense of death. I was scared that it felt near way too often.
Was it near or did I call its name..
Did I imagine the symphonic death of ones existence, connectivity disfigured amongst souls? I wanted to give up, there was no one here to save me. I felt so alone.. scared of existence of peace. I had been without for so long , floating just seemed to feel easier. Watching over oneself’s mistakes, and comfortably meditating on her prayers.
No one heard a thing.
Expressions of fear had torn through my soul. I was blinded by darkness, infatuated with numbness. I felt the presence of a savior.. an intuition of self.
Existing in peace in the hour . My mind is at peace , a certain stillness brushed at this moment. Freely to express my emotions… I tended to suppress in the moonlight of my existence. Examining truth in expressions of intellect.
I saw this going differently. Flirting with idea of numbness, the hardest to resist. I knew it wasn’t natural but I fell for it . The reality of everything was no longer, I felt beyond floating.. Stuck but aware, that’s the hardest to deal. Dealing with so much pain and handling on your own is dangerous. It ’s humbling but soul searching. Sometimes its just too much , I can’t lie I’ve flirted with silence, asleep at best. The less I try the further I float, stagnant but aware. I know that I’ve changed. But no longer am I afraid.