In the recent past I challenged myself to make a commitment to my health. I came into May with a lined schedule for pampering myself and kicking up the commitment to mind and body wellness through working out.. and vitamin injections !
Where am I now ?
I started exercising to maintain my cardio and figure! I mean let’s face it , I’m going to be turning 22 within the near future and I wanna look and feel my absolute best . I even started the journey of waxing— let me be clear, this route isn’t for everyone and that’s totally fine! It’s a personal routine of self care as a woman, I even invested in my hair growth. But with all this new routinely life habits i’m choosing to make I’ve learned so much about myself, even with balancing work life + school I still choose to put myself first above it all.
Now, when it came to body health I changed the way I viewed wellness in order to fit my needs. Over the years I tried a vegan and vegetarian lifestyle but it was to commit myself to my weight loss journey as well ! With that being said, I’m more interested in maintaining where I’ve come with my body health. It’s important to make sure everything is connected, so that you are in tune with you. This also means sexual health as well, routinely yoni talks and self care remedies!
Lemme Upgrade You
I had to double back and really close the door on things that took more than what they could ever offer me. I started my cord cutting rituals but I took the route of severing the bonds I truly outgrew, and for that I am proud of myself because holding onto things that seem to clutter my life did me no good. I noticed many changes in my skin health and mental state seemed to feel like air. I felt weightless of what I’d endured before making my grand entrance to my cozy home of self.
I can’t gloss over the details of my personal upgrade because its important to take these steps now so that they will be embedded in you with years to add to your life, and it’s important to understand the upkeep of self awareness so you do not fall astray.
I meditated more and frequently updated my chakras too ! I spent a few days taking trips to the crystal store and spending more time in nature. And this is when I noticed two huge misconceptions of myself; if I could gauge how much time I spent telling myself not to indulge in my truest needs and self desires. I would have almost believed it’s okay to put yourself on the back burner and secondly I now understand the choices I’ve made thus far.
In light of putting myself on the back burner I truly gave up my power to others to see them flourish. This doesn’t make you more valuable, it may sound crazy but just hear me out.. If you spent majority of the time you’ve given to others and gave it to yourself where would you be right now ?
And this isn’t to question your conclusions for being helpful in your own way, but you have to understand most people will find comfort in your help rather than attending to their deepest desires. It amazed me at how many people I’ve fallen out of touch with when it comes to supplemental energy with me. I personally chose to take my power back and take accountability for the pill no one wants to swallow, and that’s assessing where you are now and the steps you took to get here.
Proudly I can deliver a message to you .. You are worth the time and effort you seek. The amounts of dedication you take for yourself to just to see you happy is a wonderful thing and should not be shamed. Reclaim the personal power you’ve given to others in hand of honest help, take that extra care you give to others and indulge in it yourself.
You my friend will find yourself much happier and aware of the clarity you’ve always known.
I decided to put down the microphone and pick up blogging again. After two years of consistent writing and not releasing I decided to open the door. I want to share experiences that are keys to life as a young black woman; and exploring the spiritual side of life has given me riches !
It IS VITAL that you learn to infuse your duality. It’s not a bad thing to be in touch with your masculine energy but also remember, we ALL carry feminine energy within us. I had to learn this heavily !
I started taking time for the things I’ve always wanted to start but never made the time. I journaled almost everyday to express how I really felt because no one would truly understand, and some days I took days to myself to nurture the needs I neglected because everyone needed me. It’s fascinating to know you are the backbone for many but the same is not returned. I found myself stretching thin to the point of no return– I even found myself solving issues of those who were not mine to pile on. But out of love and wanting to nurture myself, I nurtured others. And over the past two years Ive learned two important things of myself; I am insanely strong and I am no longer willing to sacrifice my time for things that DO NOT serve me .
Turning inward to myself and attending to my needs made me better. It also made me question why I took from myself to give to others; in the sense of knowing I met many people that required of me to be their person and bare the weight of theirs.
I felt that I needed to be comforted and heard and understood too. So, I created an outlet to release what I constantly held in. I became the nurturer and the provider for myself by infusing my dual energies. Because I am true to my needs and wants, I’m clearer than I have ever been on who I am.
I decided why I needed a change of scenery. I chose to journal the first first day— explore how I felt within the past 24-48hrs perviously to digest. My goal was to reach a state of mind that is persistent with my dreams and aspirations. As I approach the second week, I’ve learned a few things about myself over the last two weeks :
I am very independent.
I am highly intuitive and yet to miss a beat
I choose to consciously be happy and excited about every step I take for my journey
I kept my promise to myself
The first week consisted of deep self love. Anything I felt led to do, if I chose journaling , I journaled— if I chose to take myself to dinner and splurge, I DID ! Simply because I deserved this attention. I deserve the love and care I show to others and when its not presently flowing from others, I take it upon myself to treat myself.
I owe it to myself to alleviate all stresses I constantly carry. It’s time to release the burden of being so perfect. I’ve realized many times I am not perfect but I am uniquely perfect in the way I choose to show up for myself. My state of mind determines my environment and if my mind chooses stress I will collapse into the abyss of the unknown.
30 Days of Positivity isn’t about saying you’re going ZEN and F*** everyone else … It’s about the love you’ve been inkling to give to yourself.