I saw this going differently. Flirting with idea of numbness, the hardest to resist. I knew it wasn’t natural but I fell for it . The reality of everything was no longer, I felt beyond floating.. Stuck but aware, that’s the hardest to deal. Dealing with so much pain and handling on your own is dangerous. It ’s humbling but soul searching. Sometimes its just too much , I can’t lie I’ve flirted with silence, asleep at best. The less I try the further I float, stagnant but aware. I know that I’ve changed. But no longer am I afraid.